You are always right.
I thought I'm ok with what happened.
I'm not.
I thought I don't care that they are no longer my friends.
I'm not.
I thought I got over the fact that they thought I was the one who ruined the relationship between both of you.
I'm not.
I thought it doesn't matter what they think as long as I'm not what they think I'm.
I'm not.
How foolish of me, thinking that I'm ok with all that happened.

You said move on already, stop hanging on to the old issue.
I want to move on!
I so desperately want to move on!
But why am I still hanging around here?
Because when I thought everything is ok, I'm actually lying to myself.
Because it hurts that they are no longer my friends.

I try so hard telling myself friend just comes and goes.
I try so hard telling myself they are just passing by my life.
I try so hard telling myself not believing in me meant that they are not my true friends.

But guess what?
It didn't work.

It matter to me that no matter what I did, it's not enough to bring them back.
It matter to me that of all the rights that I did, only one wrong put me in death penalty.
I guess that's life right?

Move on, you said.
Yeah right~
Easier said than done.

I will definately move on.
I just need some help.
And I'm getting it.
I'm going to be good.
For sure.
This is just another chapter in my life.
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mylifemylove

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